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发表于 2006-10-27 12:42:05| 字数 2,405| - 中国–上海–上海 电信/东华大学电信
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国外最新笑话[中英对照]
Two guys are chatting in a bar, complaining about their wives. “My wife is really dumb,” says the first guy. “Last week she bought a brand-new car, and she doesn’t even know how to drive.”
“That’s nothing,” says the second guy. “Last week I found a bunch of condoms in my wife’s purse, and she doesn’t even have a penis!”
两个小伙子在酒吧里扯淡，抱怨他们的妻子。“我老婆真是无语，”第一个小伙子说。“上个星期她买了一辆崭新汽车，她甚至根本就不知道开车。”
“那不算什么，”第二个小伙子说，“上个星期我在我老婆的钱包里找到一大堆套子，可是她根本就没有JJ。”
Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”
The Arkansan replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”
The Texan stays quiet, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
三个来处不同地方的牛仔——俄克拉荷马州，阿肯色州，德克萨斯州——围着一堆篝火坐着，俄克拉荷马牛仔洋洋自得的说，“有一天，一头公牛把六个大汉子顶得头破血流，我却用双手把它扭翻在地上。”
阿肯色牛仔回答道，“噢，是吗？一条15英尺的毒蛇向我扑过来，我抓住它，把它的头咬下来，然后把毒液吐到15码外的痰盂里。”
德克萨斯牛仔一言不发，慢条斯理的用他的JJ拔着眼前的篝火。
A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”
The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was **** your brains out and suck your tits dry.”
“What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”
一个男人和他的妻子庆祝他们25周年结婚纪念日。当他们回想25年前销魂的洞房花烛夜时，妻子问他的丈夫，“当你第一次看见我赤裸在你面前的时候，你头脑里在想什么？”
丈夫回答，“我想的是恨不得马上把你的脑子X出来，把你的乳房吸干。”
“那……你现在在想什么？”妻子一边问一边开始脱衣。
丈夫马上回答道：”看来我做到了。“
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"
"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."
"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How’d you get the eye patch?"
"A sea gull shit in my eye," the pirate replies.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the seaman asks.
"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."
一个海员在酒吧里遇到一个海盗，他们开始谈论他们的冒险故事。海员注意到海盗有一条木腿，一个铁勾手，还有一个眼罩。他问道：“你的木腿是怎么回事？”
海盗回答：“我被敌人击落海里，掉到一群鲨鱼里。我的手下把我拉上来的时候，一条鲨鱼吃掉了我这条腿。“
”噢！“海员说。”你的铁勾手呢？“
海盗回答：“我们进攻另一条船时，一个敌人劈下了我的这只手。”
”真难以置信！“海员说。”那你的眼罩呢？“
”一只海鸥往我眼里拉屎，“海盗说。
”因为一只海鸥往你眼里拉屎，你就丢掉了你的眼睛？“海员问。
“那是在我换上勾子的第一天，”海盗说。 |
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